CHIP~S!!!!<3

Im sad today.
Maybe cos of ytd and today.
Sad throughout entire morning.
Section members were worried about me.
Im sorry.
Tried to put on a fake smile and continued playing... theyy bought it.

Afternoon was better.
Felt lighter when taking sectionals.
Although whole day felt having a hole inside my heart.
Not exactly knowing the reason why though.
Never sms her much till just now.
Hope she's happy.
That's all that matters right?

Went to meet lao ma.
Waited 30mins.
Listened to song.
Never felt so lonely in my life for a long time.
Maybe since Primary school?
Im not sure.
That feeling was supposed to be locked up and forgotten.
ate dinner and throughout whole night saw many amksians.
Mother asked me why i was so sad? "Girlf"? "band?"
She asked.
I said. Nah its ok... with the usual faked smile.
But she knew me very well to differentiate my faked smile and my usual.
As my faked smile was too nice and natural like a girls' smile ==
Thats what she said.
My usual smile would be like smurking at ppl and going to laugh kind....
lol?
anyways...
Im back at home.
And I want to go out tomorrow.
I do not want to come back home and cry.